A note to Snow from a tired commuter, and some new recipes

Dear Snow,

As you know, I love you very much, but we need to talk. You are incredibly beautiful and until today, you used to make me happy. While I cannot deny your beauty and the warm feeling you used to invoke in me, lately, I have been feeling stifled. I love you, I really do. There are days when nothing makes me happier than watching you fall gracefully from the sky, but I feel that our relationship has become one-sided as of late. And frankly, I want a break, particularly one filled with warm weather and sun. In the past month, I've been feeling suffocated. You show up when you know I'd rather not see you, ruining my commute, keeping me from parking on the street, and making driving in general, a hassle.

I won't give you the old cliche, "it's not you, it's me", because really, it is you. I'm sure that after a much-needed (on my end) break, I will feel for you the way I always did. I will fall back in love with you and you will see my face light up when you arrive. But until then, please give me some space and go away.

Best,

Tired

Well, now that that is out of the way, let's get back to food. Earlier this week, Kurt and I made Grilled Swordfish with Soy and Ginger. It was my least favorite recipe thus far. First of all, I didn't read the recipe in advance, and it turned out we needed to marinate the swordfish overnight. After making the marinade with soy sauce, dijon mustard, garlic, and fresh ginger, we placed the marinading swordfish in the fridge and ordered pizza. The next night, we went back to the fish with renewed energy. Since we don't have a grill or grill pan, (I made a mental note to add one to the registry), we sauteed the fish in oil. It sauteed beautifully and smelled amazing. I was very excited. We made fresh veggies and rice pilaf as sides and sat down to dinner, eager to taste our new creation. Let's just say it did not live up to our expectations. The ginger was overpowering and didn't go well with the soy and mustard. I'm thinking if we used more mustard and less ginger, it might taste better. The fish itself was perfect. I love the "steak" quality of swordfish. It's a little heartier than sole or tilapia. This recipe, we'll keep in mind, but will be sure to modify.

Today, we have planned for dinner, Roasted Butternut Squash, White Rice, and Green Beans. We're planning on seeing Avatar tonight in 3D, so wanted something quick and simple to make beforehand. I found a quick and easy recipe for Roasted Butternut Squash (though I can't imagine roasting butternut squash would ever be long and difficult). First, you half the squash and seed it. Then place on a baking sheet, flesh side up and place a tsp of butter in the middle of each half. Sprinkle with brown sugar, salt and pepper, and roast for 25 minutes at 400 degrees. So easy! We'll see how it comes out. More to come later.

A Test of Will

Every year for Lent, I choose something different to give up. It's less to do with religion and more a test of will really. It usually takes me awhile to come up with something good. It can't be too difficult, or else it won't work. It can't be too easy, or else it wouldn't be a test of will. I try to find something bad, some vice of mine, that I should cut back on. It's my New Years resolution two months late.

My favorite thing that I ever gave up was elevators. It wasn't too easy, or too hard, and was more than a little creative if I do say so myself. It was while I was studying abroad. We lived in an apartment on the fourth floor. The building had an elevator so we usually ditched the stairs and took the lazier way up. For those long weeks, I took the stairs while my roommates took the elevator, laughing at me the whole way.

This Lent, I'm giving up chocolate and limiting my sugar intake to one packet per tea/coffee. I love chocolate, too much. I crave it every single day. It's time to cut back. As for the sugar, normally, I use a lot of sugar - about 4 packets per drink. What can I say? I like my drinks sweet. But I know it's not good for me and it's probably ruining my taste buds, so for Lent, I'm cutting back.

Lent, for me, is a better motivator than New Years. I'm not completely sure why. It could be that there's an end in sight, so it feels more doable. Strangely though, even when Easter comes, and I'm allowed to binge on sugar, or chips and dip, or take the elevator, I find that I don't want to. I find my practice in self control stays with me. The thrill of completing something and actually following through makes me want to keep going. At least for a few months.

Stuffed Peppers and New Relationships

The best part of finding and making new recipes is learning from them and adjusting them, making them my own. Last Wednesday, I make orzo-stuffed peppers with pecorino cheese, mint, tomatoes and zucchini. They were good, but the mint was little much. Next time, no mint, more cheese, and more seasoning. They were fun to make, although they took forever. I had neglected to read the recipe before I started and so I did not realize that it would take over an hour to make the peppers. By the time they were ready, I was no longer hungry (whether that was because it took too long or because I ate too much pecorino cheese in the process, I don't know). They came out better than I expected. The peppers had to bake at 400 degrees for 45 minutes. The entire 45 minutes I was nervous that they would burn or overcook. My anxiety was unnecessary. Giada knows what she's talking about. The best part of this recipe is that it makes an entire meal. Next time I know to leave more time for eating.

On my nightstand:

Last week, I read a new manuscript for a book coming out in the Spring of 2011. I loved it, so I'll try to make sure to remind you to pick it up when it comes out. It is a young adult novel about a girl in a dystopian alternate past. It takes place in the 1930s or 1940s, but history has changed. The entire world runs on steam and is ruled by reason, no magic or imagination is allowed. The book was so good and I was so into it, that I couldn't bring myself to start the next book I had. Every time I finish a book I loved, I become somewhat depressed that it's over. I tell myself that no other book could ever compare. Each time, I pick up magazine after magazine, thinking articles about fashion and weddings will bring me out of my funk. I could best compare this experience to a difficult breakup. The manuscript I had just finished became a meaningful long-term relationship that had just ended, the magazines meaningless flings, rebounds, aimed at helping me move on. Finally, tired of thoughtless articles and pictures of stick-thin models, I decided to move on, and started my new book, my new relationship.

I picked up Lucky by Alice Sebold. It's the newest selection in my book club. At first, I was more hesitant than usual to pick this one up. It's the author's memoir and describes her life after being raped and beaten in a park while attending college. Stories like these in books, on TV, or in movies, are hard for me, and I assume all women, to hear. They stay with me, weighing me down, disturbing me to the core. And yet, I can't stop reading once I've started. I'm riveted, if sick to my stomach. This book, so far, is amazing, and yes, disturbing. It starts out with her rape, so the hardest part to read is in the beginning. It then moves on to how she and her family dealt with it, how she healed and moved on. This glimpse into an event that -thankfully- many people will never experience, is a beautiful, moving portrait of a broken woman, making herself whole again.

When Dinner Becomes Four Lunches

Last night, the special was Whole Wheat Linguine with Ricotta, French Beans, and Lemon from Giada de Laurentiis' cookbook. First of all, let me say that I should have cut the recipe in half. I now have lunch for the next four days. Although, given how much my grocery bill was this week, not buying lunch this week is probably not such a bad thing. Last night's dinner also took much longer to prepare than Sunday night's. The recipe called for a 1/2 pound of french beans, "halved, lengthwise." Halved, lengthwise - as in julienne. Has Giada ever SEEN a french bean? Each one is about 1/8" to 1/4" thick, and she tells you to HALF each one. There were a 1/2 pound of them. Since I am not a Cordon-Bleu trained chef, nor do I have the knife skills of one, this took me much longer than I'm sure it takes Giada. Multiple times, I almost gave up and just tossed the whole beans in the pan. But I wanted to follow the recipe exactly, so I halved, lengthwise a 1/2 pound of french beans.

The whole wheat linguine, after being boiled, is tossed with part-skim ricotta, then added to sauteed french beans. Halved grape tomatoes are added at the end and tossed with the pasta. For added flavor, lemon zest is grated over the pasta. The pasta was really light, salt and pepper adds a little more flavor and brings out the lemon zest a little. It's a good thing I liked it since I'll be eating it every day for the next week.

Tonight, I made Balsamic Barbecue Chicken, also from Giada's cookbook. The recipe was actually for the balsamic barbecue sauce. The sauce was good. I'd probably make it again for a barbecue party, but just for me, barbecue sauce in a bottle is good enough.

What I've learned more than anything while making these last three recipes, is that my kitchen is severely lacking in equipment. I have learned I need a food processor, mortar and pestle, large bowls, large saute pan, small glass mixing bowls, and much more. I've begun making a list for our registry and the more recipes I find, the longer and more obscure the list becomes.

Stay tuned for my last recipe of the week: Orzo-stuffed peppers.