A Few of My Favorite Things

I realized a few days ago that I've neglected to share with you my most recent favorite books. So, if you're looking for a new book, or even if you're not, here is a (fairly) quick listing of the books I've read as well as a couple songs I'm totally obsessed with at the moment. (Quick disclaimer: I do not fancy myself a musical genius, nor do a I have alternative tastes. The songs I like are typically mainstream, but that doesn't mean they aren't awesome.) But before we get to that (I'm sorry. I know you're waiting with bated breath), a few publishing friends of mine share this video on Facebook and I absolutely love it. I think it perfectly captures the imagination, beauty, and magic of a bookstore. Long live real books and real bookstores.

Previously on My Nightstand:

Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling: I cannot express to you how much I loved this book. I got this book for Christmas, started it the next day, and finished it four days later. I used every minute of free time I had to read this book. Mindy Kaling writes and produces for The Office, and most of you would recognize her as Kelly Kapoor. In this book, she is unabashedly honest, sweetly self-deprecating and all-out hilarious. It's not often I find a book that makes me laugh out loud and this one had me in stitches.

I Am Half-Sick of Shadows by Alan Bradley: This is the fourth book of the Flavia DeLuce Mysteries, which begin withs The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, a book I've mentioned before. I love love love these books. They're all murder mysteries from the point of a view of a precocious eleven year old in 1950's England. I find Bradley's style of writing refreshing. It's fun and dark and somtimes silly. He somehow makes a murder, told from the point of view of a child, a fun read. Genius.

Situations Matter by Sam Sommers: This book is similar to Freakonomics or any Malcolm Gladwell book in that its subject matter is that of a text book, but it reads more like a fascinating, albeit nonfiction, novel. I picked it up precisely because it is written by one of my college professors (one who used clips from Seinfeld episodes to illustrate social psychological phenomena and who once brought a large traffic stoplight to time an in-class debate). Even if you hated Psych 101 in college, you will love this book. Sommers offers example after example of how situations influence how we see and respond to others. If nothing else, it will at least make you stop and reevaluate yourself the next time you yell less than appropriate words at a fellow driver, and help you to more successfully navigate challenging situations in your life.

On Repeat in My Car:

Run the World (Girls) cover, by Glee: Ok, yes. This is not a new or original song. It's not alternative or a great find. It's Glee. And I love Glee. This song and the one I'm about to mention (also from Glee) is on repeat in my car whenever I'm in it. Whenever I find a song I love, I play it over and over and over until I grow tired of it (aren't you glad we don't commute together?), but I'm not growing tired of this one anytime soon. It's a great girl-power song that makes me want to get some Master's degrees, maybe a PhD or two, and take over the world with an army of intelligent women.

Adele Medley by Glee: This medley is just perfect. I love Adele and as I've mentioned once or twice, I love Glee. This is the perfect marriage.

Set Fire to the Rain by Adele: See aforementioned declaration of love for Adele. 

We Owned the Night by Lady Antebellum: So far, I have loved every single song that this country band has put out and this one is no exception. Their voices are so beautiful, but it's their simple and sweet lyrics that get me.

Typography Clock

One of the blogs I check on a daily basis is Apartment Therapy. I like to find decorating and furnishing ideas for the rooms of my future. Hey, it's better than spending money I don't have on furniture that won't fit in our apartment, right? Anyway, yesterday, Apartment Therapy posted this fabulous clock by Doug's Word Clocks.

Yes, I know it's not for everyone, but I am totally in love with it. I love how odd it is. It’s not for those of us who need to know the exact minute at all times (ok, me), but it could go in a room where that’s not totally necessary. I’m imagining it hanging in a cool dining room or living room as a unique piece of art, because at a whopping $363.50 AUD, that's the only way I could justify buying it. One day.

An Overdeveloped Sense of Empathy

Have you ever bought something just because you felt bad NOT buying something? I've been there. Too many times. I'm too nice. I know I am. I want to please everyone, all the time. So, when I'm shopping for something in particular, I usually refrain from asking for help or advice in a store because I end up feeling terrible if I don't buy something. In May, I was looking for a dress for my bachelorette party. We were going salsa dancing, so I wanted something fun, but not too restrictive, different, but not weird. I went into a store on my way out of the mall after a particularly unsuccessful shopping trip and was met by a sweet, helpful salesgirl, about my age. I explained to her what I was looking for and she came back with piles of dresses and shoes. I was overwhelmed by how genuinely excited she seemed to be helping me, but let's just say we didn't have the same tastes in dresses. Most of the dresses she brought over were matronly, or more flamenco, and less salsa. Or just plain ugly. I tried my best to hide my feelings about the dresses and thanked her profusely for her help. Each time I told her I didn't like a dress (or rather that it "was super cute, but didn't really look that great on me"), her face seemed to fall a little more. She was actually breaking my heart. It wasn't one of those "Oh no, I'm not getting a commission" sort of look. It was more "she doesn't like my taste. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing" looks. I swear, I almost bought something just to make her happy (and then return it later to another location). Has this ever happened to you? Please tell me it's not just me who avoids salespeople at all costs just so I don't have to hurt their feelings. I'm sure I read WAY too much into this and these people end up forgetting about me the second I leave the store, but I always worry that I'm hurting someone's feelings.

This overdeveloped sense of empathy is most problematic at craft fairs, or farmers markets, where the merchandise has actually been made by the seller. Typically, at these places, I follow the crowds, never going up to a stand by myself. This way, I avoid being singled out, having to smile politely, apologetically, and leave empty-handed. Normally, I hate crowds, but in these situations, I welcome them and the anonymity they promise. 

There is a seasonal farmer's market in the next town over every Monday in the Spring, Summer, and early Fall. Two local farms have large stands, piled with watermelons, peaches, radishes, tomatoes, corn. One farm stand has lower prices than the other. Logic and simple math would tell you to buy from the cheaper farm stand, thus saving money. What do I do? I buy from both, every time. I tell myself it's because I'm trying to support local farmers and really, how could I choose between the two? But really, it's because I don't want to hurt one farmer's feelings by passing over their stand and going straight to the other. So, I buy peaches and tomatoes from one, watermelon and potatoes from the other.

This is why I started shopping more online. I actually prefer the tactile shopping experience of retail shopping, feeling the clothes, trying everything on. But online, there's no salesperson or vendor to disappoint. Although, now I return items much more often (usually in-store because it's easier), which causes another issue: that awkward situation wherein the cashier asks why you're returning it. I never know what to say. "I just didn't like it" just sounds mean. What is wrong with me?

Looking Good Vs. Seeing Well

I am getting Lasik. Or rather, PRK, which is akin to Lasik. Here's a little background: I started wearing glasses in the 3rd grade and have worn contacts since I was 13 and convinced my mother after YEARS of begging to let me stick little round pieces of plastic in my eyes, (I got them the day after I got braces. It was the braces that did it in the end, I think. Glasses she saw no problem with, but glasses AND braces AND an unfortunate bob-like haircut AND the awkwardness of 13? Oh no, we couldn’t have that). I have wanted Lasik since I first heard about it years and years ago. Of course, my eyes were still changing, so I had to wait. And wait. And wait some more. I am now at the point where the astigmatism in my left eye is so bad that contacts can no longer correct my vision fully (Not to worry, Lasik still can) and my left contact moves around all day long while I pretend to ignore it.

About a month ago, Kurt found a deal on Groupon for almost 60% off Lasik at one of the most reputable Lasik places in the area. He called them to confirm and after being reassured there wasn’t anything sketchy going on (they’ll refund your money if it turns out you’re not a candidate), we bought them and made appointments for consultations. Ok, he bought his and made his appointment while I argued with myself, trying to decide if I should. My thoughts went something like this: Should I get it? I don’t think I’m a candidate. My prescription changed a TINY bit last time. But maybe it’s just because my eyes are strained because contacts don’t work anymore. Oh, screw it, I’ll never find a deal like this ever again. THEN, I bought my groupon and made my appointment.

By now, I'm sure you’re all aware that I have some issues. I don’t like people touching my neck, or my belly button (I don’t think you knew that yet). While (surprisingly) I have no qualms about touching my own eye, it creeps me out to think of a laser, a BEAM OF LIGHT, touching my bare eyeball. Actually, what I worry about is that I’ll flinch or move and the laser will blind me. That’s really what I’m worried about if I’m being completely honest. Nevertheless, I went to my appointment to find out if I’m a candidate. I expected a very lengthy, indepth testing process. This is my vision we're talking about after all. Instead, I sat in front of two machines; one of which somehow automatically focused an image to perfection to determine my prescription, the other took 50 pictures of my eye in the span of about 3 seconds to determine the thickness of my cornea.
 

(As a sidenote, my prescription is really bad. Every new eye doctor I go to, and this one was no exception, feels the need to tell me just how bad it is, as if I've never been told that before. I can see clearly 2 inches in front of my face and closer. That's it. The technicians and doctors never seem to take this into consideration. This particular technician took my glasses from me, had me take out my contacts and said, "Ok, now look at the pinwheel." "I see a white blur." "Oh, ok, well it'll become a pinwheel." Then she gave me reading material on Lasik. Because, you know, I can read it perfectly fine. I am at an eye doctor's office WITHOUT MY CONTACTS IN. I also never make eye contact with the doctors during this process because I have no idea if they're looking at me or not. So to avoid looking socially awkward, I look away...and then manage to look socially awkward because I'm NOT making any sort of eye contact. Does anyone else have this problem? Just me? Great.)

After the two incredibly technologically advanced exams (I consider myself an intelligent person, but I still don't understand how either machine does what it does), the doctor came in to speak with me. She began by telling me how bad my vision is. Really? I had no idea. As it turns out, my cornea is too thin for Lasik (who knew?), but I am a candidate for PRK. It's apparently safer, the same price, and easier for the doctor's (I don't know about you, but when I have a major surgery, I always care about how easy it will be on THE DOCTOR). So why doesn't everyone get this? Why haven't I ever heard of this procedure? There is significantly more downtime and discomfort afterward. Without going into too much gory detail, instead of making a flap like they do for Lasik, the doctor will perform the surgery directly onto my corneas, essentially scratching them. The downtime and pain are similar to having a scratch on your cornea if you've ever felt that (which I have not). I will be out of commission for 4 days and should have 20/20 vision after a week or so. So am I doing it? That would be a resounding YES. I'm looking forward to waking up and being able to see, to opening my eyes underwater again, to not having to blink a gazillion times a day to readjust my contacts. Even if they had to take my eyeballs out of their sockets to perform the procedure, I would still be doing it.

One of the hardest parts of having this procedure has been the scheduling. I can't wear my contacts for 10 days straight before it, which meant it had to be scheduled after my half marathon and after New Years (who wants to party in glasses?). AND, I can't wear makeup for THREE WHOLE DAYS before the surgery. I think I've done that once since I discovered mascara in 8th grade and it was only because I was uber sick and in bed for 3 days straight. I will actually have to go out in public, to work, without makeup on. It is THAT, and not the wearing glasses for 10 days nor paying a doctor an obscene amount of money to scratch my corneas, nor the "intense pain" that a "few" people experience afterward, that I'm most worried about. At least I have my priorities straight. Right? I scheduled the procedure for January 19th and have been counting down the days ever since they confirmed the date, planning, of course, to avoid as much human contact as possible.

So here's my question for you. Have you or do you know anyone who had this alternative to Lasik? How did they fare? Have they been blinded for life? Actually, if they have, don't tell me. I think I'd rather not know. Just give me the good stories.

I Have Created a Monster

Last Friday night, Kurt and I decided to be productive and run some errands. We are one wild and crazy couple, let me tell you. It's Friday night? Let's go crazy and buy some furniture. While we're at it, why don't we get a cane and some dentures as well!

I've been wanting a little end table to go next to our armchair in the living room. Do you know how expensive furniture is? At least, any piece of furniture I like. I have very expensive taste, but my lack of funds usually means I try to make do with what I have or what I can fake to look up to my standards. I am beginning to see the appeal of flea markets and discount stores. We headed to TJ Maxx. And this is where it gets weird. Kurt is now a full-fledged "Maxxinista". Maxxinisto? Whatever. Either one. He now loves TJ Maxx.

A word on TJ Maxx: I get stressed in these stores. The lack of organization alone gives me hives. I shiver just thinking about the complete randomness that is their clothing selection. Larges are mixed in with smalls, Calvin Klein dress shirts next to flimsy, poorly made halters. It pains me. It really does. I also, inexplicably, feel dirty, like actually covered in dirt, every time I walk in. But, on the rare occasions I'm in the mood to dig through racks of discount clothes, I head to TJ Maxx and almost always walk out with some ridiculously discounted item. The one section of the store I love is the furniture and home section. You can always find a great price on something you absolutely need, even if you didn't know you needed it before you walked in.

TJ Maxx is usually hit or miss for me. I never have high hopes for furniture there, but when it's a "hit" day, it's pretty fabulous. So, on a mission for a new end table, we headed to the furniture section. And Kurt fell in love. We didn't find an end table (I found countless other pieces of furniture I loved but could never fit in our tiny apartment), but Kurt found the following items: a canvas picture, a paper towel holder, a cheese slicer ("we NEED this!"), slippers, an antiqued globe (no, not an antique globe, but instead, one that has been made to look antique), an oversized hourglass, and Darrel Lea Soft Eating Licorice. "TJ Maxx is awesome!" he yelled. Logic eventually won out and we left the store with just the essentials: the paper towel holder, the cheese slicer, slippers, and licorice.

What about the end table, you ask? I had a slight epiphany when we returned home from our fruitful (depending on whom you ask) excursion. We had an old, miniature chess table sitting in our bedroom, covered with random things that could be placed elsewhere. This little chess table is now our end table. I kind of love it.

(By the way, I just discovered CB2. As in Crate & Barrel 2! Now, I love Crate & Barrel, but cannot afford nary a tea towel from that store. I am frequent visitor to the outlet store in Cranbury, NJ where I can at least buy a tea towel, but I had NO idea there was a discount Crate & Barrel! It's like Crate & Barrel and IKEA met and had a baby. A beautiful, fashionable, colorful, reasonably priced baby. How has no one ever told me about this AMAZING website? I mean, most of the stuff is a little modern for me, but mixed in with comfy pieces? Eclectic perfection.)

Best Onesie Ever: The Babe With The Power

If you have no idea why this onesie is the Best Onesie Ever, go to Netflix and put Labyrinth at the top of your queue. Stat.

If you are a child of the 80's and have no idea why this onesie is the Best Onesie Ever, SHAME. ON. YOU.

If you would like to purchase the Best Onesie Ever for your Babe With The Power, click here.

essie: Absolutely Shore

New Favorite Nail Polish:

essie: Absolutely Shore

I don't normally do these super girlie posts, but I had to share this. Guys, bare with me here. essie is my preferred brand of nail polish and their new shade, "Absolutely Shore" is my new favorite. I normally play it safe and go with "Sugar Daddy," a very light pink, but I LOVE this shade. It's sort of a sea foam green and is fun without looking too unprofessional (for those of us in corporate America). It's matte and opaque, two musts for me when it comes to my nails. It especially looks amazing on toes, perfect for the transition from Summer to Fall. Plus, how can you go wrong with a name like that?

The appeal of a broken ankle and hooker heels

My sister and I went shopping two weekends ago and, as always, spent about 3 hours in the shoe department at Macy's. I think if I had all the money in the world, it would be spent on shoes. And then those shoes would sit in my closet, unworn, forever. I love shoes. I hate uncomfortable shoes. The problem with this is all the shoes I love seem to be uncomfortable.

I try to control myself. I only buy heels of a "sensible" height (no more than 3 inches), with a chunkier, '40's style heel, rather than a stiletto (thank god chunky heels are in style). I tend to spend a little more on heels because they're usually made better and thus (slightly) more comfortable. I try not to buy patent leather since they don't mold to your feet the way leather does. I promise, I'm not Amish. My heels are actually pretty cute. And fashionable.

However, finding cute, classy, "sensible" heels is made next to impossible since all the heels at Macy's, and most shoe stores for that matter, look like something only hookers wear (no offense to those of you who are able to walk in these shoes. I envy you, I do). And I'm not talking the classy, Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, prostitutes. I'm talking the trashy, wouldn't touch them with a 10 foot stick hookers (no offense to those of you who might be hookers, though I do not envy you).

What is up with these heels? Who can walk in them? No, who can walk in them and manage to look NORMAL? If I were to put those things on, I'd forever look like I was trying to walk a tightrope. They look like they could be used as a very effective weapon. I do not understand this trend. Granted, there have been some trends that I was fully against in the beginning, but then got used to until I came around to them, and then gave in and replaced my previously trendy (and now Salvation Army material) clothes. You know the ones: Uggs, skinny jeans, high-waist trousers. But these. I don't think I could ever get used to these heels. Not only because I KNOW I wouldn't be able to walk in them for more than 2 steps, but also because I can't get past the images of hookers they bring to mind.

If any of you out there wear these things, please enlighten me. What is the appeal? Are broken ankles and bunions THAT in demand? And HOW DO YOU WALK IN THEM?

Old, drafty houses and antique typewriters

The other day, Kurt and I were driving through Lambertville, NJ. For those of you who don’t know it, it’s an incredibly picturesque town. There’s a main street with shops and B&Bs that look like they haven’t changed in the past 200 years. Outside of town is the countryside – rolling green hills, dotted here and there with old homes and sheep. It’s this Lambertville I love. I challenge anyone who’s ever made fun of New Jersey (you who think The Jersey Shore is an accurate portrayal of the Garden State) to come here, drive the tiny, winding dirt roads and not fall in love. It’s impossible.

When we drive out there, I prefer Kurt to drive so I can take in the scenery and dream about one day owning one of the old, historical farmhouses. I am, you see, a realtor’s dream. I love old homes. The older, the better. Once, while passing a gorgeous stone farmhouse, I remarked how much I’d love to live there. Kurt, being the practical fuddy duddy that he is, scoffed and replied that it would be too “drafty”. Charming is what I’d call it. I can just imagine the conversations with our future Realtor. “This beautiful stone farmhouse was built in 1865 and has crown molding in every room and 18 foot ceilings.” “Ok…” Kurt would say, waiting for the “but”. Little would either of them know she would have had me at “crown molding”.

Kurt and I would argue about the practicality of it. Our realtor would begin with the “buts:” “It’s drafty and there’s barely heat,” she’d say. “It’ll be just like college when I slept in sweats because I couldn’t afford heat! It’ll be great to relive those years!” I’d reply. “It’s only accessible by a one-lane, but not one way, dirt road…” “How charming!” “…that often gets washed out during storms…” “I’m sure they have hybrid SUVs now!” “…and is completely inaccessible when it snows.” “I’ll talk to my boss about working from home on the 100 or so days a year we have any sort of precipitation. I’m sure that won’t be an issue.” “There’s no air conditioning and window units will blow a fuse.” “How quaint! I've always wanted ceiling fans!” “There’s a resident ghost that rips blankets off people in their sleep.” “I love a home with character!”

What I don’t understand is why new houses can’t be built to resemble old ones. I would love central air and a finished basement that didn’t flood during a drizzle, but in my opinion, new homes lack character and attention to detail. Where’s the crown molding? The molded plaster ceilings 18 feet off the floor? The tall windows? The antique doorknobs? Yes, ok. Some of those things MIGHT be a little inefficient when it comes to energy use, but still!

My love of things "old and shitty" as Kurt so eloquently puts it, does not end with houses. In fact, on this same trip to Lambertville, we stopped at an antiques flea market. Now, I am not usually much into flea markets and I don’t like knick knacks (clutter makes me uncomfortable). However. This place was amazing. I wanted to buy everything I saw. There was a $3,000 antique double bathroom sink that I fell in love with at first sight. And Kurt actually had to DRAG me away from an antique typewriter from 1911. “But it’s only $90!” I argued, unwilling to tear my eyes away from its beauty. “And what are we going to do with it? You hate clutter!” He had me there. But I resisted. “It’s art!” Eventually, I walked away, sadly looking back every few steps like a forlorn lover, trying desperately to find a practical reason why I needed this antique typewriter that surely I'd never use. I never did find a practical reason. But, as we all know, love is anything but practical.

A New Addition

About 2 months ago, our landlord called to inform us we were getting a new upstairs neighbor. I believe her actual words were "She seems quiet. Oh, and she has a dog." Now, there are a few things you should know before I delve into this story:

1. - Our previous neighbors were a nice young couple (from whom I once borrowed sugar - I know. I felt so domestic...and a little cliche) and their 3 year old daughter (who was petrified of me). Their little girl was this tiny, tiny little thing, but she made more noise than I ever would have thought possible. She ran. All. The. Time. Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Through all hours of the night. Both apartments have hardwood floors, which means there is absolutely no insulation against noise. So I was a little nervous having a dog living above us.

2. - When we signed our lease "NO PETS" was written in large print across it. Also, when the young couple and future marathoner moved in, they were told NO PETS. We asked one Christmas if we could get a kitten and were told NO PETS. Even the FOR RENT sign said NO PETS, just like that, in all caps. Yet, here was this new tenant, with a dog.

Our landlord preempted my objection (and whining) by saying, "Since we told her she could have a dog, you can get a cat." With those words, all objections went out the window. FINALLY! A kitten!

So after some major disagreements about whether the kitten should be outdoor (and very likely to be run over, contract FIV or rabies, and just become something we feed every once in awhile) or indoor (safe and cozy and a PET), we're getting a kitten. I'll let you guess which side was mine, and which side ultimately won. I'll give you a hint: they're one and the same.

We knew someone who was fostering 2 week old kittens that had been taken from their mother, so we went to her house to help bottle feed them (which is the most adorable thing I've ever seen), and then picked one. Of course, the one we picked promptly died. So we picked another and prayed it wouldn't die for the sole reason that we picked it.
Then, we did what any normal couple would do before getting a pet; we drew up a list of names. I wanted Guacamole (Mo for short) and was shot down. I suggested Darwin (for obvious reasons - just give it a moment), but then thought it might be just a little insensitive. Kurt wanted Boots, which I vetoed. I suggested Truffle. Nope. The white board by our front door had about 20 names on it before we decided upon Duke.

So we prepared the house for little Duke, making sure all wires, poisonous ant traps, and any other dangerous items were put away. We bought food bowls, a litter box, kitten food, all the essentials for the little tyke. We brought him home Friday night after a quick scare and he absolutely the snuggliest little kitten I have EVER seen. All he wants to do is cuddle. I'm in love.

I'm looking forward to him meowing all night and going to work covered in scratches. I spent ALL weekend holed up in the apartment playing with him and completely ignoring Kurt. Did I mention Saturday was Kurt's birthday? It's ok, he's well aware Duke is cuter. He's also accepted the fact that I'll probably be letting him sleep in our bed with us. I mean, look at this face. Could YOU say no?

PS - Have you seen the new Mad Men collection at Banana Republic? It makes me want to live in the 60's...minus the gender and racial inequality (because we're so equal now), but perhaps including the Manhattans at work. All of the money in my account (yes, Kurt and I have separate checking accounts along with our joint checking and savings in order to not kill each other over spending on things like expensive shoes, clothing, and video games) will be going to this collection.