Stage Whispers and Strawberries

I have a new job. The commute to the city was getting tougher and tougher, both physically and financially, and I found a position at a skin care company in Princeton called NeoStrata, so I applied. When I was offered the job, I was told I needed to have a physical and drug test. Now, I have never done a drug in my entire life, so I wasn’t nervous about passing. However, the morning of my test, I was nervous beyond belief that I wouldn’t be able to pee. I was told I needed to fast before the test, so I scheduled a morning exam and didn’t eat or drink anything. Of course, that morning, in my starved 6:00am stupor, I hadn't remembered not to pee at home. When the nurse showed me how much they needed, I panicked slightly inside. Add to it the fact that I felt like a criminal, (I had to leave my purse outside in the hall and they shut the water off in the bathroom so I wouldn't dilute anything), it was a pretty stressful morning. Luckily, my bladder came through and I didn't have to disappoint the nurse.

The best part of the exam was the hearing test. Never in my life have I had a test like this. It took all my strength not to laugh throughout the entire thing. The nurse told me to stand facing the wall while she stood behind me. “I’m going to whisper a word to you and I want you to repeat it back to me.” My boss had forewarned me about this test so I thought I was prepared. I just wasn’t expecting it to be so funny. “Strawberries” the nurse said in a stage whisper. I repeated it, stifling giggles. This went on for 4 more words (“peaches”, “watermelon”, and so on) and then she told me cover one ear. Now, before covering my ear, I hadn’t really noticed the low humming noise coming from the various medical machines in the room. With one ear covered, the other was aimed directly at one of these machines, so the humming was amplified. Oh God. Would I be able to hear her over the humming? Would she think I was hard of hearing? I was getting myself all worked up and ready to fight this completely unscientific exam full force. Then I heard “Pumpkin” in her stage whisper, let out a breath, and gleefully repeated it back to her. Needless to say, I left the building feeling more than a little exhausted. I had catapulted through emotion after emotion in the span of about 30 minutes. Of course, I will always look back on my hearing test whenever I need a good laugh.

On my nightstand:

I just finished The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet's Nest by Stieg Larsson. It's the third and final book in the Millennium Series. It was incredible, just like the prior two (The Girls With the Dragon Tattoo and The Girl Who Played With Fire). If you haven't read these books, you need to. They're well written, suspenseful, intense and Larsson keeps you guessing until the final page. The chapters are short and flip flop between a multitude of storylines, intricately weaving arguably the most complete and complex stories I have ever read. I can't help but wonder how Larsson was able to keep track of it all. I read through each book quickly for two reasons. One: the chapters are short and swift and Two: I simply couldn't put them down. Usually, after reading them on the train, I'd look up for the first time since opening the book, and realize I was at Penn Station, and that my neck ached. Please, please read these. I cannot recommend them enough.

Now to finish our Book Club selection: The Kite Runner. For the first time in two and a half years, I actually have to make time to read! I'm kinda missing the commute now. Ok, not really.